Saturday, February 1, 2014

start all over.

It's weird.

Everything is just weird.

I can't point my finger at it but I can't stand anything. Its like the moment I unpacked my life to come back to reality, I realized how much I want to get rid of. There's so many old memories in my room, I'm just done with. I mean it. EVERYTHING. I'm holding on to a lifetime of complete bullshit and I don't know where to start to begin again.

When did my life become so cluttered with the nostalgia of yesterday?

I've gotten to the point in my life where I just want to get rid of everything. Anything that once brought me joy in some aspect of my life, doesn't do it for me anymore. How much more vacant ghosts of a former past can I continue to hold on to. And it's with everything. Clothes, music, movies, mementos of things. I just can't do it anymore. I can't keep buying things I'll never use. I can't keep holding on to things and believing people will come back for them. I can't keep pretending that these things that once made me happy, will bring me joy in the future. That's not who I am anymore.

I need to get rid of everything. I need to truly just let go of the old vacant part of my life. I need to rid my surroundings with the former negativity I once carried and make space for the new. I can't do it anymore. I can't stay another day looking at bullshit things I don't need.

I just need to let go.

Finally.

Just let go.

And start all over.

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