I feel at a loss for words.
Mainly just the course of events that manage to happen in my life. I begin to question the logic in everything. Maybe I really am not applying myself to real life situations therefore allowing this domino effect of my present state. How do I know that this isn't just a sign to keep following what I'm doing at the moment? Or is this just some sick wake up call?
I thought I knew. I thought I knew what was going on with everything.
Some situations I just have no one to blame but myself. I can't be angry when I just didn't have my heart all in it. How am I suppose to pretend when my heart isn't fully healed?
Maybe it's being laid off again, the whole lack of money, the whole being single, I'm really not sure.
I get it.
I'm leaving for Mexico in less than two weeks. I'll be gone for a month and then I'll be able to fully understand the craziness that I feel. Just put to rest a lot of bullshit I've been feeling and truly just be in a different culture, in a different country.
I get it.
Everything happens for a reason. Things fall apart so better things can be put in it's place. I just wish this didn't feel like I fucked up in some huge way.
I know. Once again.
Everything in it's right place.