Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I've been everywhere and back trying to replace.

I think of the stupidest fucking shit sometimes.

It's having the same song on repeat and after the 5th time hearing it, you think it's going to be different. That you'll feel differently. The melody changes, the lyrics hit you, and well you're back where you started from. Same verse, different story.

Lets just go back to the start.

A friend of mine told me how great this One Republic album was. I believe her. Mainly because she has excellent taste in music, so like I do with most things I let everything wait for the last minute. Few weeks go by and well of course I forgot about my new musical endeavor.

 I'll be real.

 I like One Republic. I think Ryan Tedder is pretty swell.  Just sometimes my head space isn't the in the mood for everything, Ryan Tedder has to say. Of course I can just account this to bullshit feelings from the past and well I happen to enjoy feeling a sense of melancholy when I listen to music. I can't see myself crying to such catchy beats. I've gotten so used to feeling a certain way, listening to the same albums. That was life to me.

Then I heard this song.

I can't even remember where I heard it. I just know that the moment I heard it, as cheesy as it sounds I felt something. I mean there are songs that tug at every inch of your heart strings. "If I Fell" by the Beatles, "Sitting at the dock of the bay" by Otis Redding, "Asleep" by the Smiths....great songs. But "Feel Again" by One Republic......


There's something with that song that just woke something inside of me. Maybe it's just finally letting go of people that brought on this sense of melancholy. Its no longer this feeling of anger or hate, I just want to cleanse my soul of it. It's so easy for people to turn off their feelings. I did. Now look at me, getting cheesy over One Republic songs.

It's just how this songs starts so unexpectedly. The rush of the music, the calmness of his voice and it starts this feeling you thought you forgotten. I've been so caught up in remembering the past, I keep forgetting about the present. I can't go back and change things. I wouldn't want to anyway. I know who people are and the more time passes I know those same people can't hurt me anymore. Had life been different, I would be different. Its taken a bit longer to feel something but I'm getting there slowly.

All it took was a fucking One Republic song to feel that way.

Oh yeah and it's hard to write One Republic without thinking I'm writing One Direction.


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