Monday, October 1, 2012

Current Obsessions. 10/1/2012

1. Argo Tea Green Tea Ginger Twist. In NYC after damaging my feet for the 32934 time this year my cousin Jazelle and I need to stop to get something to drink literally every 20 minutes because 1. It was hot as hell in NYC (damn heat wave) 2. We just need a good tea. Imagine our surprise when we dropped into Argo Tea. Not only were the teas SPOT ON but there hasn't been a tea place since Teazers in Fresno that I have been obsessed with since Argo. Well low and beyond I walked into my local Raleys and a sales clerk was handing out samples of bottled Argo Tea. Found out they made the one that I feel in love with into a bottled form and lets just say I will be drinking these until they stop selling them.
2. Lost in Translation. This movie literally came on and I can't help but have every emotion imaginable. Sofia Coppola movies sort of just do that to you. They make you think and feel every sad emotion you can think of. Plus  Bill Murray is in it and well Bill Murray just makes everything all better.

 3. Forever Sunshine by Bath & Body Works. Every year for Christmas my Nina & I give each other new lotions and scents that remind us of each other. Well I literally have a cabinet filled with lotions and it wasn't until my stock of lotions that I have were running low that I busted out my emergency stash. Imagine my surprise how much I truly enjoy this scent. It's clean, fresh, and bright like the sun. I just hope I won't smell like forever sunshine forever cause you know forever is a long ass time I can't make commitments like that.
4. Alicia Keys "Girl on Fire". While I have a love/hate relationship with artist I always find that I truly enjoy every one of Alicia Keys singles she puts out. While I wasn't fully convinced on "Girl on Fire" when I heard a snippet of it, it wasn't until I heard the full song that I truly enjoyed and loved the song. Now I can't stop listening to it. If you actually listen to the words it's a pretty powerful song. 


You would think by the time you reach the end of your twenties you would be in the career of your choice. That would you meet a special someone, live in a small house in south central LA, raise some kids and just have IT. Here I am on the brink of the last remaining days of my twenties and I am literally starting from the ground up. I know this isn't failure but this has to be on the most hardest thing I have ever done. How do you start from absolutely nothing, from just a fragment of an idea and have everything fall into place? In some aspects I am very scared. I know at the end of the day if something doesn't go right I can always go back to different sources but I am tired of fall back plans. I am tired of being jealous of other people accomplishing things and I am still here trying to make something for myself.

It sucks having all these things inside of me and sometimes having no one to talk to. Its not that I want someone to tell me that everything is alright, I just want to see someone face to face and cry. I know I am not hopeless. Just sometimes I have those feelings of being lost. I just find ways to occupy my time instead of seeing things for what they are. I am scared, I am heartbroken at times and sometimes I just want to sit in a dark room and cry. Sadly I can't do that.

Let me just rephrase what I put. I DO have people to talk to but I don't have anyone that I can just call up in the middle of the night and drive over. Does that make sense? I don't feel lonely by any means but I will admit when things happen I miss having that person I can just get a facial reaction from.

I sound crazy.

I am done crying.

I need to just enjoy these remaining years of my twenties which by the way my twenties were not that awesome. Who knows maybe I'll raise out of my twenties like a Phoenix into supreme awesomeness.

Dear Lord I hope so.