Sunday, August 12, 2012

what drives you.

Every day your dreams have a way of shaping who you are from beginning to end. From the way you find inspiration to the way you find the drive to get to where you need to be. It's sort of crazy to think how in one split second anything can change your way of thinking. The young person that once thought they would live forever to the grown adult that believes life is happening too fast. There was never that fear of death, just that fear that life ends shortly before it had a chance to begin.

Being an observer in a world full of over achievers is crazy. The more I sit back and watch people the more I study their mannerisms and wait for that moment to inch my way through. I may seem to look as if I am not doing much but the reality is I am doing far too much for my well being. Its that moment where you dreams start scaring into your reality and you find a fear to sleep. All those thoughts that formulate in your mind and you can't help but wonder how and when it's going to happen. There was never a doubt in my mind it would happen it was just a matter of finding the strength of when. Fear has always clouded my doubts but now I just realized that the more I doubt the more I handicap my dreams.

The drive to be better catapults my dreams. Move forward my vision and jump starts my reality. The need to find my purpose instead of standing on the sidelines watching everything and everyone go by. The need to prove to the people that I was always right in a world of judgemental views and doubters. I just want that moment of feeling that everything I have been fighting for was for a purpose not just some get out of jail card. I have so much riding on simple ideas and the reality of it is I could fail miserably and I know I will be just fine.

All I want out of life is to find what makes me happy and continue doing it for the rest of my life. Is that so hard to ask?

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