A couple of nights ago I just about had it. Everything hurt for some reason. Maybe it was because I was on the verge of starting my woman days but this huge ache in my chest hurt me more than a thousand heartbreaks. I was tired, I was exhausted. My job was killing and draining every last aspect of my soul and I didn't know what to do. Anytime I feel like that I always pray. I know I am not the most religious person on the planet. I am the worst catholic and worst of my faith. Even though that I know there is faith. I know I can get through anything if God and the universe is behind me.
So I prayed.
I prayed and cried. All I asked and that I will state is that I wanted to know when my life would start, when my actual life will start into a new beginning into my future. After crying and sleeping it off. That's all I did for the past couple of months. Everything has happened these past two years from deaths to loss to tragedy to struggle all I asked was for an answer. A start date. Anything.
Today I finally received my answer.
I was laid off from my job today. A job I had started hating for a long time. A job that had ripped apart my soul and turned me into a vile hateful person. The moment I heard "you are laid off" I just sat smiled and said "This. IS. AWESOME". I had planned on quitting in September and with this my prayers had been answered. My life has a different plan. I am no longer derailed from what I need to be doing.
This was the universe giving me the blessing I need to start my new beginnings. To kick start what I had started years ago and finish it. While I am sad to leave the people I loved to work with I am happy that they can finally see me in the light I was destined to be in. This huge weight as lifted off my shoulders and now I can fully appreciate everything life has to offer instead of experiencing it on the weekends.
Through weakness we find strength and with strength we find the push to move forward.