Monday, July 30, 2012

Brave.

I used to believe that being brave meant being strong in all aspects of life. Not showing any emotion, just standing still and being able to still be standing through everything coming towards you. Good, Bad, Ugly or Sad. If you can take even the hardest blow and still be standing that showed how brave you truly are. That was then and this is now. While strength is a great characteristic of being brave it doesn't simply qualify being brave. Being brave has so many other characteristics, it just takes us as human beings longer to get to that point.

As I near the end of my twenties I have realized how much of my life was based on false accounts of dealing with emotions. From a young age we are programed to have some sort of feeling for humanity. What about the time that humanity does you wrong and you just stand there and do nothing? Where do we go from there? Or how about that old testament of hiding your emotions, keeping things to yourself to spare the feelings of others. That doesn't make you brave, that makes you a coward. That makes you keep things inside that you don't need to keep. Growing up is a learning process, nobody ever said it was going to be easy. I guess you're wondering what any of this has to do with being brave, well it has everything to do with it. The more you hear the outside world complain about frustration, complain about outcomes, the more you breathe in the more you soak up like a sponge. You're not suppose to observe, you're suppose to stand up and be your own person. If you don't stand up for something you'll fall for anything. Humanity isn't a kind place anymore. People do things for selfish inconsiderate needs. Trust me I know, I've been one of those people on more than one occasion. While the world isn't all a bed of roses you can't just sit there and stand back and watch people walk all over you. People may not like what you have to say. People will be hurt and at times uses resources to push you down but you will remain standing with your head held high for standing up for yourself. The bravest thing you can ever do is to stand for something you believe in, the most precious and important thing to ever believe in is yourself. Do not let anyone tell you or make you feel any differently.

Of course there are some people that mistake bravery with being vile and cruel. Just because you say exactly how you feel about a person doesn't necessarily make you brave at times. Are you saying these things for the right reason or are you saying it from a jealous, vengeful hurtful place. Don't mistake your crazy paranoia outburst with being strong or being brave. That in return makes you not only crazy but a coward. If that's how you feel so be it but don't say things out of anger. Say things because you're standing up for something you believe in not out of hurtful juvenile needs. I can't express enough how big of a difference it is. If you think for a second that this is you being "real" or "honest", that's not what you're doing. That's jealously peeking out it's vengeful demon from inside of you. You want to know what the bravest thing in life is? Saying how you feel about a person without it being malicious. If you can't be honest with a person without using anger or vile words then you're going about things the completely wrong way. Then again what do I know. We're all human we make mistakes but just as I've learned people eventually learn on their own.

Keeping emotions inside does not make you brave. From a young age I was told to keep all my emotions inside. Maybe that's why I went a little crazy in my teen years and early twenties. I didn't know how to deal with human emotions. The only way I dealt with anger was suppressing it and staying quiet. If it hurt I would keep my tears inside and cry to myself alone. I know now that it's wrong, it only made me hurt more inside instead of saying how I felt or saying how much I was hurting. You learn that once you let words out of your system you start feeling every ounce of freedom. From my mid twenties to now you can't shut me up. I will say how I am feeling when I am feeling it. I will state whats wrong and what is right. I will laugh and cry out loud and say whats on my mind. For the ones that care will listen and the ones that don't will leave.

Everyone has their own perception of bravery. Strength is a characteristic of bravery once you stood up for something you truly believe it. All I know is from my own experiences and what at times makes me feel a little braver. I know I don't have this human life down to a nutshell just yet but its these struggles and experiences that helps in the learning process.  Life is a scary place at times, even more so with everything you keep inside of you. Maybe all we need is just a better understanding of where we are coming from.

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