Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Alexa Chung.

Alexa Chung. I know I rant and rave about people's personal style a lot but out of all the people out there the one person's style I am absolutely mad about is Alexa Chung. Maybe it's the British charm and humor that she possesses or the fact that she can literally walk out in a potato sack have it look like Chanel. TV personality, model, all around awesome human being she has this simplistic style that just about anyone can emulate but very few have the confidence to pull off. 

Brrr...it's cold in here.

It feels weird to come from working in such a frigidly cold environment, to actually seeing large amounts of sunshine and semi cold environments. Is this the life that everybody ask for?

Been sort of working on a variety of different ideas. Mainly trying to find a jump off point for The Fashionista Recessionista (thefashionistarecessionista.blogspot.com). There's just so many blog fashion sites out there how can this one be different. Its just that whole idea of changing 2348484 different things into working ideas. I guess that will be my challenge this month well for August. I just need to get more into the photography aspect that I have been delaying for so long. So anyone that reads this, that's associated with me in some certain way be prepared to be asked to be on a feature.

Of course there's the novel aspect I'm working on. I think once I get everything out of my mind that I have been hoarding for the past two years onto paper then I can sort of find a start into two new entries. So much material to be used, so little space to actually figure out how to work it out. Either way it's going to work out.

That's all on the business front.

On the personal front. Aside from my dramatics things have been really good. Sort of had some mini meltdown moments but I wouldn't be me without some aspect of a meltdown or emotional baggage of some sort. I just need to get some sage, do a rain dance and watch the water come over me like amen.

Have I mentioned new Kanye will be dropping soon? Stoked. There's nothing I love more than that man. Plus I just need his new G.O.O.D. music right about now. I swear he knows to drop new stuff right when I need it the most.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Current Obsessions 7/30/2012

1. Stylemint. Enough as been said about the Olsens. When they came up with stylemint I was of course dying to see what was up and how awesome these alleged shirts were. Well for 29.99 a tshirt of course I was a little skeptical. Not to mention for a tshirt? It better be a tshirt made of gold. Well lets just say BELIEVE HYPE. I have never had a tshirt fit me the way these shirts fit. While I haven't bought one in months I will say it is a very awesome investment and they're always running really great deals and discounts for subscribers. So if you haven't got your hands on one of these shirts. You have to my consent to get one, they are awesome!

2. Debbie Harry. Aside from being the awesome front woman of Blondie the photographs of her in the 80's are just awesome. Not to mention I want to recreate some of these awesome photos. This one has to be my all time favorite.

3. Memes. Honestly this needs no explanation. Doesn't it just explain everything. 

4. Maybelline "Baby Lips". I cannot express enough how awesome these are. I currently own 4 of these beauties and they are just the best amount of moisture and color that you don't normally get with a tinted lipbalm. They come in a variety of colors and for 2.99 they can not only be found every where but they're awesome. 

Lana Del Rey.

Lana Del Rey. Much can be said about Lana, mainly controversal attributes. Truth is regardless of anything she's pretty fabulous. If I had to put her in some category she's a cross between Chris Issak and Britney Spears. Emotionally well versed pop. While much can be said about her live (SNL anyone) I will say this...at least she sang live unlike some artists out there. Her marketing campaign for her first album this cross between Lolita and 70's Studio 54 glamour is absolutely fabulous. If you haven't listened to any of her tracks I recommend you listen to "Blue Jeans' and "Born to die" to me they scream SUMMER. 


I used to believe that being brave meant being strong in all aspects of life. Not showing any emotion, just standing still and being able to still be standing through everything coming towards you. Good, Bad, Ugly or Sad. If you can take even the hardest blow and still be standing that showed how brave you truly are. That was then and this is now. While strength is a great characteristic of being brave it doesn't simply qualify being brave. Being brave has so many other characteristics, it just takes us as human beings longer to get to that point.

As I near the end of my twenties I have realized how much of my life was based on false accounts of dealing with emotions. From a young age we are programed to have some sort of feeling for humanity. What about the time that humanity does you wrong and you just stand there and do nothing? Where do we go from there? Or how about that old testament of hiding your emotions, keeping things to yourself to spare the feelings of others. That doesn't make you brave, that makes you a coward. That makes you keep things inside that you don't need to keep. Growing up is a learning process, nobody ever said it was going to be easy. I guess you're wondering what any of this has to do with being brave, well it has everything to do with it. The more you hear the outside world complain about frustration, complain about outcomes, the more you breathe in the more you soak up like a sponge. You're not suppose to observe, you're suppose to stand up and be your own person. If you don't stand up for something you'll fall for anything. Humanity isn't a kind place anymore. People do things for selfish inconsiderate needs. Trust me I know, I've been one of those people on more than one occasion. While the world isn't all a bed of roses you can't just sit there and stand back and watch people walk all over you. People may not like what you have to say. People will be hurt and at times uses resources to push you down but you will remain standing with your head held high for standing up for yourself. The bravest thing you can ever do is to stand for something you believe in, the most precious and important thing to ever believe in is yourself. Do not let anyone tell you or make you feel any differently.

Of course there are some people that mistake bravery with being vile and cruel. Just because you say exactly how you feel about a person doesn't necessarily make you brave at times. Are you saying these things for the right reason or are you saying it from a jealous, vengeful hurtful place. Don't mistake your crazy paranoia outburst with being strong or being brave. That in return makes you not only crazy but a coward. If that's how you feel so be it but don't say things out of anger. Say things because you're standing up for something you believe in not out of hurtful juvenile needs. I can't express enough how big of a difference it is. If you think for a second that this is you being "real" or "honest", that's not what you're doing. That's jealously peeking out it's vengeful demon from inside of you. You want to know what the bravest thing in life is? Saying how you feel about a person without it being malicious. If you can't be honest with a person without using anger or vile words then you're going about things the completely wrong way. Then again what do I know. We're all human we make mistakes but just as I've learned people eventually learn on their own.

Keeping emotions inside does not make you brave. From a young age I was told to keep all my emotions inside. Maybe that's why I went a little crazy in my teen years and early twenties. I didn't know how to deal with human emotions. The only way I dealt with anger was suppressing it and staying quiet. If it hurt I would keep my tears inside and cry to myself alone. I know now that it's wrong, it only made me hurt more inside instead of saying how I felt or saying how much I was hurting. You learn that once you let words out of your system you start feeling every ounce of freedom. From my mid twenties to now you can't shut me up. I will say how I am feeling when I am feeling it. I will state whats wrong and what is right. I will laugh and cry out loud and say whats on my mind. For the ones that care will listen and the ones that don't will leave.

Everyone has their own perception of bravery. Strength is a characteristic of bravery once you stood up for something you truly believe it. All I know is from my own experiences and what at times makes me feel a little braver. I know I don't have this human life down to a nutshell just yet but its these struggles and experiences that helps in the learning process.  Life is a scary place at times, even more so with everything you keep inside of you. Maybe all we need is just a better understanding of where we are coming from.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Current Obsessions 7/27/2012

1. David Beckham & Harper Beckham. Sort of obsessed with this photo. Men and their daughters...ADORABLE

2. Summer. Well just some aspect of summer wardrobe. Sunglasses, Bright lipstick, hoop earrings, red nail polish and of course my trusty Starbucks.

3.  Dialogue. Nothing but non stop dissection of film dialogue. 

4. Wes Anderson. Mastermind. Genius. Over all awesome director and writer.

5. Angel Haze "New York". I'd like to thank Lily (@teapotsonfire) for bringing the jam of the next couple of months. Seriously cannot stop clapping along and bobbing my head. 

I am ready to go..

I've been spending way too much of my free time this week analyzing and dissecting dialogue from films, songs, and real life that it's clouding my dreams working it's way into my reality. I just feel this huge urge to be any where but my current settings. I do have all this time to do what I need to be doing. I do have nothing but whats set in front of me to actually take the time and believe in myself again. Sometimes it's frightening to actually say out loud how you really feel. Formulating words is much easier then saying you're scared about what happens next. I could fall face first into a complete pile of rubbish or I can just enjoy the ride. Well honestly I just want to be successful just like the next person. I know everything is going to be a huge struggle from here on out but it's what is meant to happen.

It's weird how differently things changed this year. People, places, things. It's crazy to think that this time last year I was miserable and now I am just in route to a completely new beginnings. While I do miss some aspects of the past, more or so importantly just one person. I can't change what happened, I can't change how I feel about the situation but I can be honest and say that I do miss this person whole heartily. Things happen, people change and more importantly I can only just be honest and say that while time will pass I will not be bitter and think of only the great times we shared together. I do hope that they are doing better for themselves but I am sad to say that I can no longer partake in that life anymore. The universe has a different plan for both of us and if our paths meet again then I can only reassure a good deal of happiness from the bottom of my heart.

With that above stated I can't keep living in the regrets and mistakes that memories have placed me. I am not perfect but I am in a different stage in my life that I thank everything for placing me in. There are days I just feel so completely older than I can take at times but that's life. I can't wait to see what the next series of steps take me. Bigger, brighter and better things I know but that whole start from here to there is going to be a long one.

Lord help me.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Current obsessions. 7/24/2012

1. Men on film that make an effort for the woman that they love. Such as my favorite scene from "Big Fish".

2. Old photographs of Amy Winehouse. I still can't believe she's gone still but we can continue to live through the wonderful world of her photographs.

3. Billie Piper as Belle/Hanna in "Secret Diary of a Call girl". I'm still swooning over this outfit. I don't care what type of weather we are having I want to live and breathe in this outfit. Absolutely Amazing!

4. KANYE WEST. It's like Christmas in July (literally) whenever Kanye releases new tracks on his website (www.kanyewest.com). All I can say is that even if you're not a fan "Cruel Summer" is going to the best follow up to "My beautiful dark twisted fantasy". God Bless Kanye West. 

Summer Esscentials.

Summer means a load of wonderful things for your skin. Mainly in the burned and dryness department. (Yuck). If you're like me and don't feel the need to wear a full on mask of make up here are some of my go to products for the summer (and even fall, winter, spring, etc).

1. Clinique Chubby Sticks: I am slowly converting all my friends on these slick guys. Not only is the color absolutely stunning but they are completely moisturizing. Defiantly a go to summer necessity if you want color but not something drastic like a lipstick or a lipgloss. A chubby stick is like if a lipgloss, chapstick and a lipstick had a three way and this was the final product.

2. Garnier BB Cream: All I have to say is that BELIEVE THE HYPE. I haven't had anything more moisturizing, and more even then this product. Wear it alone with a pressed powder or beneath foundation it gives you a great even coverage.

3. "They're Real" Mascara by Benefit: I have been a huge benefit fan for years but I switch up my mascaras every mascara cycle but when I heard this mascara gives you the impression of false lashes, I screamed BULLSHIT...then I tried it. WOW. Okay maybe not full on Edie Sedgwick but a nice flirty Sophia Loren if you ask me. This is great for those days you just don't want anything on your face (just moisturizer with SPF) it gives your lashes and face just the amount of life it needs to face the day.

4. Bio Oil: Oil on your face. I know I had been doing the Oil Cleansing Method for about 3 years not but to actually use Bio Oil in place of a moisturizer I was skeptical. But I am a sucker for beautiful products so I tried it. Up until recently my skin had taken a huge beating. My work conditions caused my skin to break out and dry out and no amount of products worked until I tried this one 3 months ago. Not only did my complexion feel and look great but my face felt completely moisturized. This is great in the morning before you head out and after you completely wash off all your makeup. All it takes is a little drop to moisturize your whole face.

5. Benefit "Get Even" powder: This is honestly the best powder I have ever put on my face. It's evens out my blouchyness, redness and gives my skin the finished feeling that it needs. Put this on after you moisturize or in place of your pressed power. I swear your skin will thank you.

6. House of Harlow "Chelsea" Sunglasses: Honestly you don't need these specific sunglasses but if you had to splurge on a great pair these are the ones. But to be honest you just need a great paid of all black thick sunglasses. Cat Eyed or not to fully give into the summer rays you need to block them with a fabulous pair of sunglasses.

In whatever you use or what to try this summer. Please always remember hydrate yourself and lots of sunblock with SPF. Protect your skin and protect your body. These are just a few of my summer favs.


Monday, July 23, 2012

Chill Summer Breeze.

I am no stranger to wanting and yearning for Fall to return. Mainly because my wardrobe consists of only cooler weather attire as opposed to this harsh dreadful heat. So it's no wonder that as soon as a tiny hint of breeze hits I just want to wear long sleeves and a great pair of jeans.

Well since the only breezes we get in summer are slight chills in the afternoon/ night hours here (unless you live in San Francisco).  I thought this collection possessed a great use of color and simply accessories. Stripes and green just happen to be two of my new favorite things.

The greatest accessory you can ever carry is a great statement piece and a good pair of sunglasses. If you're going to invest in a good pair of sunglasses I suggest Chloe, Ray ban, or Dior. Never go wrong with a little Dior.

Untitled #29

Kanye West & Kim Kardashian.

I saw this coming. I saw this coming when Kanye was on that one episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" (that of course I totally didn't see...DO NOT JUDGE ME). This works. There are very many factors of why this relationship works. They're both extremely successful, they both understand each other emotionally, they both know what it's like to experience loss and supreme success all in the public eye. Honestly there isn't a couple out there that I can see handle this much awesomeness since Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. While I may not be the biggest Kim Kardashian fan, I am a big supporter of this couple.

Regroup, rebirth, regrowth.

I guess you can constitute this as Day 1 of my unemployment. Its no different from being on vacation aside from the realization that I am not returning to work in a day or week from now. Maddening. I know this is what I want, what I needed but just how completely rushed it was for me to get out of there just completely maddening. Not that I am having doubts its just now this is officially my time to find the change that I needed into my life.

Obviously before I do any of that such life changing alternations. I am giving myself a whole week to myself to get completely organized, burn some sage, and just get all this bullshit out of my system. Starting with my room.

My room is a disaster. Mountains of magazines I've bought and haven't yet read, movies, TV shows still completely congested on my dvr and just this huge wave of knowing that all of this has been in a stand still for two years. All these past years just forming dust on top of crowded space. I don't even know where to begin. While I have every aspect of inspiration, I just can't find the one place to start.

I started with my bed. Pulled off every sheet, comforter, until I was left with just some empty bare mattress. Placed everything to be washed and just sat and stared for a while. I've spent two years completely exhausted by bullshit confined to this bed where do I go from here? Where has the past two years left me to such completely bullshit. While all my bed coverings are still in the wash I just find stacks and stack of the year that just past of paperwork, letters, bullshit basically.

I don't know. No one said getting what you want is easy. Just that follow through to get there is just completely crazy. My bed, all these past months / years of life and now starting completely new as if the last two years didn't happen.

Moving on, moving forward.

Music has always been my escape. Just the sincerest melody of complete honesty. All I want to do is sit on the floor with a pen and notebook listening to old school records through rather large headphones. Disappear from the world and come back completely renewed. Write out everything I feel completely in my soul. Until then I just really need to organise this room.

Completely wipe out and clean out everything I see not fit with my new beginning. Old photographs, old papers, old bullshit things I know I will never return to. Its weird to see how much we as people change in such a tiny frame of space. Yet that's life.

Here's to bigger and better things.

"Everything in it's right place"

Moonrise Kingdom.

Wes Anderson is a complete mastermind. There's just no way to formulate into words my precise feelings of "Moonrise Kingdom" aside from if you love, love please go see this movie. The pure innocence of youth, simplicity of yesteryear and at time sadness of real life entities. Moonrise Kingdom isn't just two children in love it's two individuals reminding us how completely beautiful it is a find someone that completely understands you. Finding someone that you would do completely anything for. Absolutely stunning.

Run do not walk to see this movie.


Friday, July 20, 2012

New beginnings.

Everything happens for a reason.

 A couple of nights ago I just about had it. Everything hurt for some reason. Maybe it was because I was on the verge of starting my woman days but this huge ache in my chest hurt me more than a thousand heartbreaks. I was tired, I was exhausted. My job was killing and draining every last aspect of my soul and I didn't know what to do. Anytime I feel like that I always pray. I know I am not the most religious person on the planet. I am the worst catholic and worst of my faith. Even though that I know there is faith. I know I can get through anything if God and the universe is behind me.

So I prayed.

I prayed and cried. All I asked and that I will state is that I wanted to know when my life would start, when my actual life will start into a new beginning into my future. After crying and sleeping it off. That's all I did for the past couple of months. Everything has happened these past two years from deaths to loss to tragedy to struggle all I asked was for an answer. A start date. Anything.

Today I finally received my answer.

I was laid off from my job today. A job I had started hating for a long time. A job that had ripped apart my soul and turned me into a vile hateful person. The moment I heard "you are laid off" I just sat smiled and said "This. IS. AWESOME". I had planned on quitting in September and with this my prayers had been answered. My life has a different plan. I am no longer derailed from what I need to be doing.

This was the universe giving me the blessing I need to start my new beginnings. To kick start what I had started years ago and finish it. While I am sad to leave the people I loved to work with I am happy that they can finally see me in the light I was destined to be in. This huge weight as lifted off my shoulders and now I can fully appreciate everything life has to offer instead of experiencing it on the weekends.

Through weakness we find strength and with strength we find the push to move forward.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Kourtney Kardashian.

Much can be said about the Kardashians. Much of which I don't care to discuss since it's none of my business but what can be said is to me the most stylish of the 3 sisters has to be Kourtney. Business woman, mother, all around awesome stylish dresser. Is there anything that she can't pull off? Honestly I just want to raid her closet, she always has on some awesome gems.

done. is done.

It's been a while..

okay maybe a little bit longer than I had expected. A lot has been going on and I haven't been able to update as much as I would like. All of that will change.

No really.

I mean it.

It totally will change.

I know I've been saying it for about almost two years but this time is the last time. This time I actually mean it. Before it was more or so like I would be able to tolerate bullshit and now this time I just don't have the soul to put up with anything. Mainly because I don't have a soul so that makes things a little more easier.

Started to look into new environments and more social scenes to get out of this funk. All of which have been working out fine. It's just the getting from point A to point B and waiting to see if it all works out. Fear comes in and just complete nonsense filters my mind but then I get over all of that bullshit and realize

1. I am still young. Not dead just yet.
2. I don't really give a flying fuck.
3. I am single and can pretty much do whatever it is that I want to do.

I want to live in a big city again. I want to live somewhere that doesn't see sun except on special days where everything comes together. I just want to be in a place where more people are more or so like me and not just conforming to every day bullshit.

Basically I just want to be surrounded by complete weirdos.

Good luck to me. Let's see how this goes.