You know that old saying "find what makes you happy"? Well for the past couple months I've been trying to live by that saying. Whether it be for selfish reasoning's or emotional I've been trying to live by that motto and find every aspect of my life a pure happiness.
It's not easy. Every moment I can change from happy to sad, becoming emotional for obvious reasons or just plain exhausted by existence. Sometimes it's just hard to find in one's self the true meaning of happiness. Honestly how many of us are actually happy doing what we love to do? How many of us have settled into reality because it was the right path? I've never really lived the righteous life and as my parents before me we've all struggled to get to where we are today. Even if this isn't the life that I have planned for me I know deep down inside there is something greater. Things do make me happy, people do have a way of surprising you.
I recently watched "How do you know" which wasn't necessarily a significant film. Wasn't some indie hit or blockbuster film but somehow inside the context of dialogue I find my own scenario in it. You live your whole life thinking that somethings got to give, that you're working toward one goal and when everything falls apart in front of you it's over. You cry, you become emotional, you blame the world. It's not the universes fault for your misfortune; things just have a way of changing for the better. Whether you want to think that rock bottom isn't better; a good 6 months from that moment things do change. You do become stronger. I never realized how much I could truly love people until this very moment. How so many influences changed my perspective of things.
I changed. I am on the road to recovery. Things will never be what they used to be. I will never harbor the same feelings as I did when I was younger but it was those feelings that brought me to where I am today. Who knows what the world brings, or what the future holds but it's what we have in the present that make everything so lovely.
People, places, things inspire me to be greater. Life challenges push me to my limit. I know exactly where I am going and what I am doing. Whether I sink or swim that is for the universe to decide but I am content with how I feel inside. I truly am happy.
Honestly I just cannot wait until everything falls in it's right place. Everything in it's right place.