Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Why can't life always be this easy...

I have this undying desire to travel for a whole year. A spiritual journey of sorts, just as Elizabeth Gilbert’s quest for personal growth and inspiration. I just have this need to be moved by life instead of being handicapped by my surroundings. This past year I was so suffocated by my surroundings I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. Although life is good; just a minor domino effect of emotions ransacked my life. Sort of in this waiting period where I’m just about ready to do things differently than this very structured way I’m doing everything now. I tend to do this a lot after a year of the same normality I want to try something new, do something exciting, and venture off into the unknown. I just want so many changes and opportunities, to be inspired plus I want actually time and space to do what I love instead of worrying about things I don’t care too much about.

There’s always this need for personal self development. This yearning to learn more about one self and their surroundings. I guess in a way I’m always willing to learn something about myself. Good, Bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Seeing different places and meeting different people just being immersed by culture I just find it absolutely fascinating. This journey I’ve been on hasn’t stopped. The more I keep moving the more it keeps happening. I find myself just searching for mysteries in everything and being pleased with the outcome. Now that I’ve outgrown my hometown for quite some time and outer corners of the state of California I just want to see everything before it’s too late. Before I have to actually be responsible for other people instead of just myself. Now is the prime time to do everything I want. I am single, I have absolutely no responsibilities and more importantly I have nothing to lose. I am actually very pleased with my current state, honestly I am not ready for any sort of relationship commitment. There is so much I plan on doing in my life and right now that would just hold me back. I am content with my friends and family being my life support and eventually somewhere down the line someone will come and break that mold away but right now I am good.

Within the next year I plan on being in Mexico for 4 months. Just travel around the Latin America counties, learn everything I can about my culture and be surrounded by my family that I don’t regularly see. I need to be with family. People that understand who I am without having to explain it to anyone. I would love to know what it feels like to be surrounded by people I don’t normally see every day. It’s mesmerizing to see how my friends are around their family and I guess I would just love to feel that instead of feeling that for a week or two weeks. Plus being out of my element is something I need, the things that you need to do for yourself are always the most scariest and this is by far the scariest. 4 months away from my Mom and Dad?? I mean I did that when I moved to LA but now to a completely different country! Madness.

I am going to be 30 soon and all I know is that for my whole 30th year I want to be traveling the world. I want to see and be around several different cultures. More importantly I want to scare myself with so many different challenges and see how I adapt to them. I know I can do anything I want to do in life and this is by far the biggest thing I will ever do. Now is the time for change, now is the time for renewal.

Now is the time to do whatever the fuck I want.

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