Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Summer's End..

With summer soon coming to an end and some of us returning to our fall routine it is comforting to know that we can turn to fashion to guide us into the next season! If you're like me and living in California, fall hasn't begun just yet summer heat waves still linger but that doesn't mean you can't dress in fall colors and styles.

Denim jackets are making a comeback with a vengeance (or perhaps to some they had never left) so this fall I would suggest at least wear a denim jacket with a nice printed short or skirt. Top's should be simple, nothing says classic then a classic white tank top. Accessories are always key. There is no excuse to be frumpy so if needed be please use an appropriate belt and instead of the usual black try tan, camel, or brown. I love japa mala beads and for myself they give a sense of protection and spirituality (if you're not into that then a simple beaded bracelet would do). Of course a huge statement ring is a plus and with fall colors anything with turquoise will be beautiful. Instead of the normal ballet flats or even a simple converse chuck taylors I'd go for brogues. It gives a balance of masculine with a dash of femininity. Crushing on any sort of cross body bag and this Marc by Marc Jacobs one is lovely. Don't forget to finish this look off with a light brown (Mink) nail color and a soft tinted lip!

Here's to the start of a new season and an adventure in color.

If you only knew...

Lately I've been feeling really disconnected from reality. It's as if dreaming is far more entertaining then real life. I wonder if all this exhaustion is just another way to sleep away the pain I feel. I embrace every emotion as it comes to me even though in the back of my mind I'm stronger than that. This darkness comes over me, this huge blanketed cloud and it makes me wonder if I ever really enjoyed the light. The cold drafts, the icy stares, every emotion that cuts like a knife and makes me feel something then this warmth of nothing.

I enjoy it so much because it's who I am. It's the only thing I am completely sure of that makes me feel something instead of this nothing. I would rather feel pain, saddness, and despair than feel numb to the world. I know there's a time for sadness, there's a time for laughter but at my current state it's my time to dream.

I wish I could have better sleeping patterns then this stupidity of insomina.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez. I cannot be of Latin descent and not love J.Lo. She was the ultimate underdog and made it to the A-List. I love how her style is very glam, very Bronx and very much her. It's rare to see a bad photo of her since she's always looking beautiful. She may not be the best actress, or the best singer but she knows how to work whatever she has into supreme stardom.





Mulberry

I've been obsessing over the Mulberry Lookbooks and every time I see a dress or a coat I want I can't help but swoon. I love how versatile their clothes are. You can wear it formally or give it a punk feel with some boots. Personally I would wear this dress every chance I get, with heels, with boots but more importantly with boots and a mauve peacoat. I have a personal obsession with Alex and Chloe jewelry. The cross necklace is essential for any wardrobe and the ring is TOO DIE FOR. Plus every bag needs to own Burt's Bees tinted lip balm in Hibiscus. Lovely, absolutely Lovely.


I am not known for breaking hearts.

Sometimes I wish I could spew out every single hurtful thing I can out of my body. Everything that I am annoyed with, anything that makes me upset. Yet I keep it hidden inside until I spontaneously combust. This is my spontaneously combustion moment.

Listen here buddy. YOU AND I nothing. It's not even like that, it's not even how it is in your warped little mind. If you think for a second that I am just another one of your silly little bar ho's you have one thing coming. I was nice to you. DO NOT punish me for it.

When you make something out of nothing, people assume things that they shouldn't. Here I am telling you that I told you from the get go we would be friends, we would be nothing more than friends. Then you got really creepy and borderline crazy, honestly I was done which is the reason for my departure. I've done crazy, I've done creepy and there is no time in my life for any of that unwanted bullshit.

I did not mislead you. I did not tell you otherwise. If anything I told you exactly from the get go how shit was going to be worked out. Instead you pushed and of course I bowed out. Please stop trying to get my attention, please stop trying to contact me because I will not respond.

This is my final intervention about this.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wedding, Smeddings.

In honor of my cousin Armand getting married in October, Christina's past nuptials and Maggie and Cesar's engagement I guess you can say if I'm a sucker for anything it's wedding attire. It's every girl's dream to have a beautiful wedding and here are some of my personal favorite wedding styles.





Nicole Richie.

Nicole Richie is defiantly the epitome of West Coast cool. Not only is she stylish but she's built an empire of just being not only awesome but having killer style. She has a way of making basic items look completely chic and easy to emulate. Not only do I find her style amazing but her supreme eye for detail is very inspiring. I am a huge fan of her style plus I love how she's always rocking shades. Style Icon for sure.





Winter Kate

This is actually a dress from Winter Kate's previous collection but I just die looking at the beauty of it. It's whimsical it's flowy its just sheer perfection. I think anybody can pull this dress because it covers just about any spots you're uncomfortable about. For myself it's usually my abdomen section and arms. Since I'm such a fan of Miss Nicole Richie I can't just stop raving about her House of Harlow line of Jewelry and Sunglasses. The zig zag bracelets give it more edge and the sunglasses give it a huge Jackie O classic feel. The H&M hat is just perfect for fall I'm slightly obsessed with it. Essie nail polish in a light pink give your nails a very delicate approach to such a chic outfit. I personally believe every woman should own Clinque "Black Honey" it's a universal sheer plum that looks beautiful on every skin type. I will say this is a very updated "Holly Golightly" outfit. I will would defiantly rock it in front of a Tiffany's with a Soy Hot Chocolate in hand.

Speak now..

Forget summer love. There must be something in the coolness of this soon to be fall air that’s driving everyone absolutely bat shit crazy. It’s like everywhere I turn its either weddings, engagements, relationships or babies. All I have to say is ….GROSS. Perhaps I am just not in the mood for love but everywhere I go it just keeps following me. While I am overjoyed by everyone’s happiness I guess I just feel suffocated by all these public displays of affection. With my cousin’s wedding coming up, my niece bound to pop, my friends in their serious relationships and let us not forget the liberal media with their songs, movies, I’m exhausted.

Call me a hater, I’ve been called worse. Honestly I am just tired of life right now. Just with work, people, family I honestly want a good couple months to just regroup and shake shit out of my system. Maybe I’ll have a better understanding of “Love” after I come back from my year hiatus. It’s just that at this state I am in; love has done me wrong in every aspect I can think of and just to be surrounded by it I just can’t even begin to function. I know I’ve heard time again “You’ll know when you know” or “It’ll happen” but what if I don’t want it to happen? What if I have exhausted all aspects of love that I am done with it? I do have love in my life. Towards my family, friends, and life but to find love for one person I just can’t seem to grasp how that actually happens. Maybe it’s just seeing how everyone changes who they are to be in love or even how I myself had done the same it just makes me sick. I am not better than love but sometimes in my mind frame I am.

There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ve taken a different life path then most of my peers. While everyone went to school, found careers, got married, had kids, or even just one of those things, I didn’t. It started out that way. Work, school, work, school, I just wasn’t feeling it. I have such an anxiety when it comes to school environments so any chance I could take that away I did. So instead I joined my two best friends at the time just doing what we loved and after that was over, here I am just trying to make a career out of memories. I do not in any way shape or form regret my decision. If anything; if it wasn’t for those days it wouldn’t have brought me to the people I am associated with now. Wouldn’t have allowed myself to know what true friendship is about and I wouldn’t have come up stronger in the end. Yet there are days I wonder to myself if I had made the “right” choice, I know deep down that this is my destiny to go through this entire struggle to come up victorious but sometimes I wonder how differently my life would have been. Would I be married and miserable, would I even still be on this earth? Everything happens for a reason. I see so many of my peers still searching for something, wishing they had done differently and I know I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished. It’s still weird though. Who knows.

With Love, I don’t know it’s weird. I will say I was burned. I barely had a chance to enjoy it before it was taken away. All this bitterness I feel and with everything I’ve written about it I am just over it. I see how people deal with it and it drives me to have this fear. I am not ready for any of it to happen to me any time soon. I’ve had attempts and the more I repress it the more I just wonder if I keep pushing it away how will I know it’s going to come back to me in the end. There so much still left to do before I enter my 30’s and none of it involves having relationship. None of it involves falling in love. I don’t want to date anybody; I don’t want to be bothered. I just can’t bare hurting someone’s feelings like mine had been done before. Is it wrong to just want to kiss someone and then bid them good day. Just no feelings attached to it? The love that I want I don’t feel it even exists, it’s not real. Maybe somewhere after everything in my life works I’ll understand it better but I just don’t care. I tried, I failed miserably and now it’s just picking up the pieces and moving on. That’s what love is right? Love is nothing but moving on until you find something you’re happy with. I’m just tired of being force feed all these ideas of being in love and wanting to be in love when I don’t even want to be in love. If you want me to feel differently you’re going to have to ask nicer than that.

Whatever.

As I sit changing appointment times for bridesmaid dresses fittings, going over days off for weddings, baby showers, and think to myself that could have been me. Thank god it isn’t.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I heart H&M

If you know anything about me, you know about my obsession with H&M. I literally cannot walk out of the store without spending some ridiculous amounts of money in that place.

This season I am very much impressed with colors, style, and even a throwback to varsity jackets. Since I'm trying to venture out of my comfort zone defiantly this fall going to try and wear more skirts with wool tights. This skirt is perfect, no need for a belt because of the black colored band so it will be perfect for shirt tucks and untucks. Instead of the usual flats I opted for these oxford inspired shoes, it could also go with a good calf length boot but for a more "school" vibe I loved the oxfords. They are defiantly becoming my favorite shoe. Stripes are very fitting to give more of a classic edge. The biggest statement piece of this outfit has to be the varsity jacket. Perfect. Don't forget the big stoned ring and some red colored nails and you're good to go. H&M Perfection.

Feel free to head to your local H&M for all the essentials, because you know I am.

H&M

H&M by ellelopez featuring a flare skirt

In my head, it's only in my head..

It's hard to explain anxiety to someone who has never experienced it. It's one of the most nerve wrecking things an individual will ever have to go through on their own. It's not something you can turn on and off, it hits you out of no where when you least expect it and it takes what feels like a lifetime to get over. Of course I would know. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for what seems like an eternity. Even more so lately with everything going on in my personal and work environment I honestly wish I could just turn everything off and lie in complete silence.

Sometimes that's what we all need. Just a couple hours of complete silence. Complete disconnect of the world just to relax and regroup ourselves. I wish that everyone else thought that way. That it was just that easy. Its this anger inside of us that doesn't allow it to happen sometimes. We are so angry about everything superficial we forget to appreciate how much we truly do enjoy life. I am a happy person but because of so many different outside influences it's hard to truly appreciate everything I have in front of me. I see the beauty, I see the joy but it's so clouded by my own thoughts that I have a hard time finding what I love.

Maybe that's where all the writing comes into play. I write because it's the only thing that can group all my sentiments into words I can explain to people. Even if it comes out the wrong way outloud at least in the written form I release everything I have inside of me. Lately my anxiety hasn't been getting the best of me. Running, walking, singing, shouting and even this I'm doing makes everything so small inside. The need to get out and enjoy life, keep this fire inside of me and because of it is how much I know what I am doing is right.

I love my life, I love what I am doing to get there. I just can't wait til I can do everything fulltime instead of when I can find the energy to do it.

Soon.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

MARC by Marc Jacobs.

Haven't really been keeping up with Marc by Marc Jacobs but I have found myself in love with the following items. I swear my bank account is non existent for good accessories.



Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

A lot can be said about the Olsen twins. Style icons, fashion inspirations, business savvy. They have brought so much of their own personal inspirations into their fashion empire and the world has noticed. Their personal style has been mimicked, duplicated and adored by fashionistas and fashion icons a like.






Is it fall yet?

Summer is coming to an end and with that we can truly shine with our wardrobe. Nothing more beautiful about fall then the layers of clothes we use to express ourselves.

Everybody needs a good lace dress this season. A good black cardigan. Wool tights. Good pair of black boots. Nothing completes a look then a good pair of accessories. Definitely feeling the all black look with gold accessories. Including the festival necklace by madewell. beautiful.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Inspiration strikes in the most unusal places..

Lately a lot of my dreams have become really crazy. Maybe it's the mood I've been feeling or maybe it's just everything I am keeping inside that's causing things to get a little more crazier then it actually is. It's crazy how just simple ideas can manifest themselves into crazy choices or even crazy ways of changes. I guess thats what we are all striving for. New ideas, different changes. Something new to change the demons directions inside.

Things are moving swimmingly. Then things find themselves stalling. That's life. Just everything in constant motion to settle down to move at full speed ahead. There's this energy inside of me just anticipating the moment when everything just comes together. Everything falling into place. It's happening. It's moving. It's falling into place.

Just can't wait for that moment to happen. Everything in it's right place.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Current obsessions..

Photographs of hands with ordinary objects such as this gem I found on tumblr.


Ellie Goulding. Not necessarily her music (although "Lights" and "The Writer" are my jams) but her hair coloring in this picture is gorgeous.


The music of Patti Smith


Photographs taken by Hedi Slimane. His photographs are absolutely breathtaking.


Ryan Gosling.

It's been a long time coming but after seeing countless of Ryan Gosling's films I have formulated a minor crush on the dude. He's talented, beautiful, and a Scorpio. Not sure how that's going to work in our "relationship" but he's just fabulous.





Stop and stare..

Balmain has become my new obsession. Ever since this dress went down the runway I was obsessed. Disagree? view my tumblr archive (ellielopez.tumblr.com). Since the dress itself is a walking work of art it needs very minimal accessories. A good solid color peep toe shoe, Simple dainty earrings, A light color lip, A good mean eyelash, and of course my personal favorite a bad ass cat eye lined lid.Plus I'm recently obsessed with slate colored nails. BEAUTIFUL! Finish this look with with roughly tousled curls and you're good to go.

It's all about the price tag..

This current state of the masses is only concerned with power, greedy, and having a shit ton of money. We are all guilty of it. Working overtime, taking side jobs and I wonder if any of it is all worth it. We make a lot of money that we don't really see. We all have a problem with spending before we receive. Doesn't help that our nation is in a huge debt recession. Who's actually making money anymore?

I have a spending problem. I buy a lot of things I don't really need. Most of my purchases are based on want instead of need. That's life though. How much of what we own do we really honestly need? I look at everything I own and I wonder instead of being selfish how I could have helped someone in need, someone who really wanted what I had. Then I become bitter and realize that the people that are sometimes in need have more then what I have to offer. Often times its the ones in need that are in turn giving to me. I am not sure what's up with this lying society but its sad to see my paycheck go from one amount to a smaller amount because of corruption in public welfare systems.

There's always this need for a hustle. This need for dreams and I see even my parents going in on it as well. Everything is to make an extra buck instead of making dreams come true. What good are dreams if they have a dollar sign attached to them. I look at people now a days and I wonder "is this what you want from your life?", "is this how you always imagined it would be?". I am a dreamer and I've been told countless times how things won't work out, it's going to be a struggle etc. Honestly I'd rather be broke and happy doing what I love to do then rich and miserable in a position I do not enjoy. All I want out of life is for my dreams to come true. My dreams to turn into reality. I know in every way shape and form I am doing exactly that. Right now is a rough patch but things are happening. Everything will eventually fall into place.

I guess it's more of struggle then a hustle. We do everything we can to make ourselves feel better but we fall deeper into a depression just to find what we need. I have everything I ever needed materialistically, I just want the emotional to match up with the physical.

Everything in it's right place.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Madonna.

If you say you don't like Madonna then you're unAmerican. My favorite Madonna moments have always been 80's era Madonna. "Desperately Seeking Susan". My second favorite moments are her ad's for Dolce and Gabbanna or anything after that. Always very stylish, very powerful in her worth.




Kanye West.

There's not many artists that I truly care about and the ones that I do I will talk your ears off about them. Kanye West is not only my favorite artist but I know in the future he will be my mentor. His music, his life, his persona is bigger than the sound. I absolutely adore this man and he does no wrong in my eyes.




Rabbit Faux Fur Coat

There's no denying that I cannot wait for cooler weather. When that happens I plan on breaking my savings and purchasing a decent Faux fur coat. I just love the elegance/rock n roll feel it gives just an ordinary outfit. I've been obsessing over pear shaped gems and this necklace gives your neckline that beauty. Nothing I love more then a striped boxed tee, more of a simple tee then some overly confusing print. Skinny jeans are the staple in any females (an some males) outfits. I am always with a good skinny. Red flats are something of an experiment, I've been dying to try with a really good red flat. This whole getting out of my comfort zone thing. Plus nothing completes a look without a good pair of shades. My new obsession is the House of Harlow "Chelsea" sunglasses. Nothing says fab like a good cat eye.

Status - Single...

This is probably going to get me in a whole shit loads of trouble.

Lately I just can’t get over the number of relationships I see people in. I am in no shape or form jealous of that because for the people I truly care about I see how genuinely happy they are to be in a relationship not to mention how grotesquely in love they are; but for the rest of the masses it boggles my mind how people have this fear to be single. It is really still taboo to be single? How hard is it really to jump from a long term relationship into singlehood?

Obviously I have never been in a relationship. Most of what I have to say is extremely one sided but it's hard for me to understand how a person can't just be single. Relationships that I've seen I wonder how much does a person has to endure until they reach their breaking point. Perfectly strong willed people become lovestoned for love. They do the complete opposite of their character and all for the sake of keeping a sinking ship relationship. They'll spend years in a loveless relationship without anything to show for it, thinking they'll get married, thinking they'll have children and 7 years pass and you're left with a beaten down soul, insecurity and nothing more then a bond of "I used to love you" feeling. Breaking up isn't an option. You're so afraid of being alone because a relationship is all that you remember, your relationship became your identity.

Whats wrong with being single? You were born single! The day girls stopped playing with barbies they want to be in a relationship. Who can blame them. The film and music industry don't help being single with the songs about love, heartache and firsts it's no wonder everyone has a warped idea of what love is. Love happens, it exists just not in the sense that we were brought up thinking. When you love someone you know in an instant but the things people do for love is completely batshit crazy. There's nothing wrong with being single. If you can take care of your own core responsibilities as an adult then you can take care of yourself. You don't need someone else to be there to hold your hand. If you think that you do then maybe you should reevaluate everything in your life and wonder why is it that you need that person. Is the comfort of having someone close better than having no one?

It is easier for me to move on from people I've been in love with because I've never spent the years and time that these relationships had been in. Perhaps I would go in the same fate as the others but at the same time I wonder do individuals not value their worth? I know I'm good enough for love, I know exactly what I want and how I would love to be loved but is that enough for a relationship? There is so many factors that go into relationships. Feelings, consideration, teamwork, understanding, respect, trust but once any of those are broken it takes much longer for it to be repaired. Still people stay in unhealthy relationships not because they love this person but because they're afraid of being alone.

Then theres the people that are in relationships not because they fell in love, but the fear of being alone. Almost like a last resort. Marriages now a days are based not on love but more in the sense of having respect for a person and a mutual understanding. How can you be in a marriage if you don't love a person? You can't grow to love a person, you know the first 5 minutes of being with someone if you love them it's not just a waiting game of "oh in a month I'll be in love with you". So many young people rush into marriage, rush into love because it's all they've ever seen in movies, in society, in people. All I have to say is before you rush into any relationship find how much you love about yourself and then when love actually comes and finds you (and it does) see where your head is at. Please don't put someone else's feelings on the line only on a maybe love thing. It's not fair to the other person. There is someone out there that is wanting to love that person the way that person loves you. How could you deny someone the feelings that you want for yourself?

There are so many wonderfully, beautiful, fabulous single people and they're doing amazing things. They're still hopeful for love, relationships and all that gushy stuff; it surprises me how they remain single and people who are not worthy of relationships are not. I know it's selfish but I see the longing in peoples eyes to share their time with someone but they like myself will not settle for just anyone. It's not that they think they're better but they know when they're in love they will be loved. Who can blame them? I would rather feel that sensation then settle for just anybody.

I guess in all reality. I want to be loved. I want every aspect of it. The butterflies, the sickness worse than the flu but I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. I know someone out there feels the same way I do and when I find that person I will never let go.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

In the Navy...

In my attempts to get of my comfort zone I've been experimenting with a variety of color. More neurtal palettes. Creams, navys and greys. I am a sucker for dressing up, even if it's just to go to the grocery store so I guess you can call this my grocery store couture. Navy top to mesh in with the navy band on the skirt, a grey belt and grey flats (always flats), red clutch for a dash of color. No outfit will be complete without accessories so aside from the red clutch I chose what I like to call a "power" statement ring and some silver bangles. I think the most beautiful feature on women is their hands and wrists to any time to draw attention to the hands I will do with accessories. I would finish this look off with a side pony tail nothing to over done, a little messy but perfectly put together.


Untitled

Sofia Coppola...

There's this whimsical aura to Sofia Coppola. She's a brilliant filmmaker and I know loads of people probably disagree or think she's overrated but her films absolutely move me. Pure emotion and the cinematography of her films are amazing. Plus her soundtracks are OFF THE CHAIN!!! Her style is just effortlessly cool.

God Bless Sofia Coppola.