Monday, September 19, 2011

Missoni for Target

Everyone is gaga over Missoni for Target...I too am gaga for Missoni for Target. As soon as the look book came out I already had little check marks next to the items I wanted. While I didn't most of the things I wanted I did walk away with some choice pieces.
 
Of all the pieces the Missoni for Target cardigans are the biggest statement pieces in the collection. These cardigans against a solid dress or even just a plan white vneck and jeans is absolutely perfect. Personally I would love to see this cardigan with the American Apparel asymmetrical dress (sadly couldn't find a photo of just the dress). Visually I pictured this ensemble as a autumn/winter outfit so the black missoni for target printed tights and the socks are perfect for colder weather plus I love insulating boots with fun printed socks. For a day look its best to keep the look very light and minimal. Peach for cheeks to give color for the colder days and a fabulous lavender pink hue for lips. No look would be complete with out accessories!! I love bib necklaces and the jewels in this necklace make your neckline pop without being too flashy. Plus the bracelets give the wrists a fun jingle of color. I'm obsessed with Madewell Archive boots, you can dress them up or down and they never go out of style. Every woman should own a balenciaga bag. They're just so essential to life.
 
 
 
 

Jane Birkin

Jane Birkin. Muse, Musician, Activist, style icon. A lot can be said about the era of Jane Birkin but mostly its her effortless style that constantly mimicked and envied. How simple articles of clothing influenced a whole generation as well as become simple staples in our wardrobe now a day. Now while generations cling to every passing fade it will always return to the effortlessly cool style of Miss Jane Birkin. 




Tuesday, September 13, 2011

We all aspire..

You know that old saying "find what makes you happy"? Well for the past couple months I've been trying to live by that saying. Whether it be for selfish reasoning's or emotional I've been trying to live by that motto and find every aspect of my life a pure happiness.

It's not easy. Every moment I can change from happy to sad, becoming emotional for obvious reasons or just plain exhausted by existence. Sometimes it's just hard to find in one's self the true meaning of happiness. Honestly how many of us are actually happy doing what we love to do? How many of us have settled into reality because it was the right path? I've never really lived the righteous life and as my parents before me we've all struggled to get to where we are today. Even if this isn't the life that I have planned for me I know deep down inside there is something greater. Things do make me happy, people do have a way of surprising you.

I recently watched "How do you know" which wasn't necessarily a significant film. Wasn't some indie hit or blockbuster film but somehow inside the context of dialogue I find my own scenario in it. You live your whole life thinking that somethings got to give, that you're working toward one goal and when everything falls apart in front of you it's over. You cry, you become emotional, you blame the world. It's not the universes fault for your misfortune; things just have a way of changing for the better. Whether you want to think that rock bottom isn't better; a good 6 months from that moment things do change. You do become stronger. I never realized how much I could truly love people until this very moment. How so many influences changed my perspective of things.

I changed. I am on the road to recovery. Things will never be what they used to be. I will never harbor the same feelings as I did when I was younger but it was those feelings that brought me to where I am today. Who knows what the world brings, or what the future holds but it's what we have in the present that make everything so lovely.

People, places, things inspire me to be greater. Life challenges push me to my limit. I know exactly where I am going and what I am doing. Whether I sink or swim that is for the universe to decide but I am content with how I feel inside. I truly am happy.

Honestly I just cannot wait until everything falls in it's right place. Everything in it's right place.

Logan Lerman

I recently saw Logan Lerman in "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" it wasn't so much that the movie was fascinating but you defiantly couldn't keep your eyes off of Logan. He has this genuineness to his craft that make his work believable. He has recently been cast in "Perks of Being a Wallflower" after finally getting around to reading the book I do have to say that if the film and script live up to it's expectation I do feel that he makes a very good Charlie. He defiantly has a Robby Benson look to him, very other worldly.












Monday, September 12, 2011

emerald city

Every once in a while I do enjoy a great emerald green. I believe everyone should own an article of clothing in this color. Recently just purchased a blouse of this style. I absolutely adore the flowness of it. Breathable fabric and just pure comfort. I hate too put together outfits so any sort of grunge or smudge makes the outfit perfect for me. Any type of holes or shredding in a jean I absolutely love. I love how understated the hole in the jeans look. My new favorite flats happen to be the penny loafer flats. SWOOOON worthy. More masculine then a basic ballet flat plus gives an ultra feminine look into a more edge and even a hint of elegance.
 
Personal favorite color with emerald is gold. Any sort of gold accessory is great with emerald. I love chunky bracelets layered on one wrist. With with lower neckline of this blouse  the aztec gold necklace give a great flash of color. Honestly you can't go wrong with these accessories. Of course it may look silly but its actually well put together once you put them on.
 
Minor obsession with a more natural look pale lips, hint of color on the cheeks and a hint of eye liner. Absolutely love love love Essie products this color is too die for. Including with all the array of colors going on in this outfit this a versatile color that would be perfect for everyday wear. Plus it will make your hands look beautiful.
 
These doctor bag, 60's office briefcase bags have been a hit on the runway from Marc Jacobs to Topshop. Of course I'm going to have a minor obsession with them. Trust this defiantly puts together the whole outfit.
 
 
 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Topshop

Without a doubt we all know how much I truly adore Topshop. So it's no surprise that I did a set based on Topshop products I'm swooning over.

I choose the pintuck dress because it's just visually beautiful. If you have curves like me this dress would look best with a black bowed belt, not to mention the black bowed belt will give a sense of color to a pale palette. For accessories I choose these tribal looking bangles, as well as the leopard ring. Gold, leopard I'm guessing you're realizing the color pattern I have here. These leopard heeled booties just had to happen. They're stunning and they give you great height, plus they are flawless against this dress. The burgundy clutch is just another ounce of color. I choose the Essie nail color as a very delicate fall color to wear on your nails. Not really a punch of color but when your tan starts fading it's going to be nice to remember an ounce of tan color. I'm recently obsessed with this Topshop lipgloss stick. It gives just the perfect color of dark pink you need. So while the whole set is based on neutral colors the lipgloss stick gives you the color you crave.
Topshop

Topshop by ellelopez featuring a bow belt

All dressed in black...

Seasons have a way of creeping up and changing at a moments notice. One minute the sun is constantly shining and then the next it's completely humid and overcast. Thunder, lighting and just a slight scene of rain. Fall will be upon us soon, another chance of change.

One of my favorite seasons happens to be fall. I'm not sure if it's just the need to layer on clothes to seal away the skin that we kept so bare all summer but also giving our chance to truly showcase ourselves with fashion. Every season is a chance to show the world how we embrace the weather changes as well as our own personal style. For the past couple of years I've felt a sense of mourning. The black clothing I wore like a badge of honor; something to remind myself about how numb I felt to the world at that current state. As much as I found the color soothing it changed a sense of my mood. I felt all the darkness around me and any chance to wear black I did. My security blanket, my way of showing the world that I didn't need to pretend I was fine when I showed the world differently. It became my constant calling card. Here I am all dressed in black. Yet now, just as the leaves change color and as snakes change skin; the black is slowly coming off and making way for new skin. It's no surprise that I love all aspects of fashion. Clothes, colors, cuts, workmanship. It's more than just the superficial it's seeing how an idea is made into pure beauty that's imprinted into minds of millions and changes a course of a season. It's more than just leaves changing, it's life changing. Every article of clothing has a way of telling a story. Whether it be a whole collection or just a simple color. With just a simple article of clothing it has a way to change our thoughts and break our hearts.

We all sort of peek into our own wardrobes and find what type of fairytale we have hidden in there. Dresses for the countless parties we can't wait to attend. Tops from the countless times we've spent with loved ones. Even that one special accessory that reminds you of someone you thought you had forgotten. What ever it is these articles of clothing are memories. Memories sometimes we forget we've had until the moment we put these items on. I couldn't tell you how many times I've walked into my closet and just felt a rush of excitement seeing these stories. A visual scrapbook caved with emotions. Even if at the moment the only color that's constant is black I know that in the future my wardrobe will make way for a more array of colors as my mood changes. Yet for now I am happy with the darkness I have in memories as well as in life.

As fashion week commences and a new wave of styles form I can't help what wonder what will brighten my mood this season. Will it be color block brights from Jason Wu, or be blown away by the beauty that is Oscar De La Renta? Or just continue to embrace my funk with Marc by Marc Jacobs. What ever I choose these are my stories I choose to tell the world. How I am feeling, how I love and how much I love to wear the clothes as opposed to the clothes that wear me.

Just as the season changes, so does my mood. Embrace the change as the colors of leaves change from green to orange to brown. Autumn is just another chance to turn it all around.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

hot child in the city

 
Well any chance to play on polyvore I just can't stop. ahha. So browsing on the meetmark.com site I had a little go on mini editor.
 
I'm obsessed with this necklace. It's a great statement piece it should be included in every one's wardrobe. Against a tshirt, or a party dress it's fabulous. These shorts were just adorable. Paired with a long sleeved chiffon blouse with black tights or even just a plain tshirt they seem absolutely flattering. I love the fedora it's rare for me to find any fedora with color plus the burgundy color is just flattering for every hair color paired with the shorts and the necklace you're a woman on the go. I choose a pink tinted cheek stain and lip color with such statement pieces as the necklace and the hat I didn't want to take too much away from the outfit. It's should always be about what you're wearing and showcasing not what you're caking on your face. Anything flawless, light and fancy free is lovely to me.
 

In another life when we're both cats..

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong somewhere? Just a different time period, different style of people. I just feel surrounded by the same people, the same mind frame. Everyone’s just need to settle instead of move forward. Fear captivates them to keep their feet firmly on the ground instead of venture off into the unknown abyss. Maybe I am from a different time period. This need for adventure, this need to just fully surround myself with different aspects of life instead of staying in one place for so long. It just makes me wonder how content people can be for just an ounce of change instead of morphing full circle. 

What happened to glamour? The allure of something beautiful for no reason at all. There’s no sense of glamour anymore it left with the decades of beautiful people. Now we’re just a lazy society of fast food culture. I just wish there was parties were everybody dressed to the 9’s. Where men dressed as men as opposed to little boys in baggy jeans and baseball caps. Where women dressed as women instead of young girls trying to get into a really bad techno club. Everything is either too relaxed or too tight and informal.

I want to go to a party where people are completely decked out. Dressed as adults. As beautiful people. Go to parties were drinks are not served in bright colored plastic cups. Where there isn't a hint of any sort of drinking game (beer pong, kings cup). Where everyone cares about what they are wearing and actually try with their clothes. Where they play old school doo wop groups on a record player instead of some same tired party song off an ipod. Where you're not embarrassed by what you do. Where you're not self consumed by your cell phone but rather in friendly interactions with people you meet.

Does that even exist?

Maybe in a different time period, in another life.

True Romance

Absolutely adore this movie. These characters as crazy as they are their love is undeniable.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sparkle, Sparkle

I had a heart attack moment on last Friday night. *Gasp* I didn't have a thing to wear. SHOCKING. Apparently my wardrobe is only acceptable for everyday wear as opposed to everything and everyday wear.

So basically these are quintessential items that are a definite need in a wardrobe.

A plain versatile white t. Good not only for everyday but provides a great blank canvas for any outfit.
A sparkly skirt. You can dress up and dress down. Don't be afraid of sparkles because they will liven up anything that you wear.
A basic black heel. A defiant going out shoe but also good for everyday wear.
Good staple Chanel bag. If you're going to spare no expense on a handbag I hope it's saving your pennies for a Chanel bag. They are a MUST in any wardrobe. They can dress up a plain outfit into a million dollar wardrobe and any going out outfit into a punch.
no wardrobe would be complete with out accessories. I have a huge obsession with bib necklaces, HUGE statement necklaces. Anything that brings attention into your neckline is a must. They're beautiful and a great PUNCH to any outfit. Plus this ring is just fabulous. better than any basic band ring it has serious edge to it.
Make up should be fun. A light blush, a great eye liner, mascara and a deep dark lip. Nails should be purple. It's sort of my thing now. PURPLE NAILS.
Trust me when I say I wish I had all these in my everyday life. Not just for going out.
NEED!!!

Action, Action

We all want forgiveness. This undying need to forgive but a majority of us don't have the plans to follow through. To many people just saying a simple "I'm Sorry" saves you from anything. From heartbreak to mistakes, from even the common the cold but the truth of the matter is what happens after the "I'm sorry"?

I spent close to 4 years wanting an apology from certain people in my life. For feelings, for treatment and most of all just wanting to be able to forgive so that I may move on. How does one go about that? How can you truly forgive if you never have a full apology. I have heard countless times "I'm sorry" or my personal favorite "I never meant to hurt you" after all is said and done....nothing. Absolutely nothing. Am I the fool reading too much into this?

We're a lazy society. Meals in minutes, to drive thru nation even simple "I'm sorry" are prone to just a simple click away but truth of the matter is; sorry's are not something you can just whip up in 30 minutes. Feelings are always put into question and no matter how much you think an apology saves everything it really doesn't. We spend our lives wanting forgiveness and when we do its the follow through we thrive on. When nothing happens after forgiveness should we still be angry? It's hard for me to wrap my head around such notions but after hearing countless times "I'm sorry" at this point in my life those two words become just that, words.

I need actions. I need follow through. I need people that actually want to be there instead of just be there when it's convenient for themselves. They say how they'll never do it again but then all we see are reruns and repeat offenders. How can I truly move on when the same actions manage to happen again? It's hard to just open up to someone in general; then when you're hurt that's all you think about. The pain they have caused you and no matter how many times a person tells you they are "sorry" they continue to do the same thing until you've become numb to the notion of the word. I want to believe people are sorry but I also want to believe people are working toward rebuilding any sort of relationship with you. I don't want to believe all is lost after "I'm sorry", I want to believe people actually care instead of saying that they care.

After everything all I ever want is for someone to mean what they say. If you say sorry mean it don't make it seem like words to me because I've heard it all before. Don't treat me like I'm some sort of doormat. If you want my forgiveness you've always had it but if you really mean everything you say...show me.

I need actions, I don't need words.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

It's going to be a long, long ride..

There is something brewing inside of me. It's as if a glow of happiness has been transformed into my body. The moment August became a distant memory, life re-began for me. September, the fall, everything just seems so very right at the moment. I know that because of who I am something will make things harder than what it seems; but at the end the reward is far more greater. The struggle is the reason we live, it's the reason we hope for something better for ourselves. I am just a fool to feel pathetic when far greater things are a foot.

I have come to the realization as I always do whenever I have a bad episode is that I will never be better. There is no cure for how I feel but what there is are better life choices. Better ways to release stress and tension. I will cry more than the normal person, I will scream and shout things I don't mean but at the end of the day the people that stay are the ones that matter. If you can't have me at my worst please believe you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Some times I just need a little time for myself to feel like myself again. I need to dream to enjoy reality.

Where ever my journey takes me I know I will be okay. I love my life, I love my family and friends and it's going to be alright.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Summer's End..

With summer soon coming to an end and some of us returning to our fall routine it is comforting to know that we can turn to fashion to guide us into the next season! If you're like me and living in California, fall hasn't begun just yet summer heat waves still linger but that doesn't mean you can't dress in fall colors and styles.

Denim jackets are making a comeback with a vengeance (or perhaps to some they had never left) so this fall I would suggest at least wear a denim jacket with a nice printed short or skirt. Top's should be simple, nothing says classic then a classic white tank top. Accessories are always key. There is no excuse to be frumpy so if needed be please use an appropriate belt and instead of the usual black try tan, camel, or brown. I love japa mala beads and for myself they give a sense of protection and spirituality (if you're not into that then a simple beaded bracelet would do). Of course a huge statement ring is a plus and with fall colors anything with turquoise will be beautiful. Instead of the normal ballet flats or even a simple converse chuck taylors I'd go for brogues. It gives a balance of masculine with a dash of femininity. Crushing on any sort of cross body bag and this Marc by Marc Jacobs one is lovely. Don't forget to finish this look off with a light brown (Mink) nail color and a soft tinted lip!

Here's to the start of a new season and an adventure in color.

If you only knew...

Lately I've been feeling really disconnected from reality. It's as if dreaming is far more entertaining then real life. I wonder if all this exhaustion is just another way to sleep away the pain I feel. I embrace every emotion as it comes to me even though in the back of my mind I'm stronger than that. This darkness comes over me, this huge blanketed cloud and it makes me wonder if I ever really enjoyed the light. The cold drafts, the icy stares, every emotion that cuts like a knife and makes me feel something then this warmth of nothing.

I enjoy it so much because it's who I am. It's the only thing I am completely sure of that makes me feel something instead of this nothing. I would rather feel pain, saddness, and despair than feel numb to the world. I know there's a time for sadness, there's a time for laughter but at my current state it's my time to dream.

I wish I could have better sleeping patterns then this stupidity of insomina.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez. I cannot be of Latin descent and not love J.Lo. She was the ultimate underdog and made it to the A-List. I love how her style is very glam, very Bronx and very much her. It's rare to see a bad photo of her since she's always looking beautiful. She may not be the best actress, or the best singer but she knows how to work whatever she has into supreme stardom.





Mulberry

I've been obsessing over the Mulberry Lookbooks and every time I see a dress or a coat I want I can't help but swoon. I love how versatile their clothes are. You can wear it formally or give it a punk feel with some boots. Personally I would wear this dress every chance I get, with heels, with boots but more importantly with boots and a mauve peacoat. I have a personal obsession with Alex and Chloe jewelry. The cross necklace is essential for any wardrobe and the ring is TOO DIE FOR. Plus every bag needs to own Burt's Bees tinted lip balm in Hibiscus. Lovely, absolutely Lovely.


I am not known for breaking hearts.

Sometimes I wish I could spew out every single hurtful thing I can out of my body. Everything that I am annoyed with, anything that makes me upset. Yet I keep it hidden inside until I spontaneously combust. This is my spontaneously combustion moment.

Listen here buddy. YOU AND I nothing. It's not even like that, it's not even how it is in your warped little mind. If you think for a second that I am just another one of your silly little bar ho's you have one thing coming. I was nice to you. DO NOT punish me for it.

When you make something out of nothing, people assume things that they shouldn't. Here I am telling you that I told you from the get go we would be friends, we would be nothing more than friends. Then you got really creepy and borderline crazy, honestly I was done which is the reason for my departure. I've done crazy, I've done creepy and there is no time in my life for any of that unwanted bullshit.

I did not mislead you. I did not tell you otherwise. If anything I told you exactly from the get go how shit was going to be worked out. Instead you pushed and of course I bowed out. Please stop trying to get my attention, please stop trying to contact me because I will not respond.

This is my final intervention about this.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wedding, Smeddings.

In honor of my cousin Armand getting married in October, Christina's past nuptials and Maggie and Cesar's engagement I guess you can say if I'm a sucker for anything it's wedding attire. It's every girl's dream to have a beautiful wedding and here are some of my personal favorite wedding styles.





Nicole Richie.

Nicole Richie is defiantly the epitome of West Coast cool. Not only is she stylish but she's built an empire of just being not only awesome but having killer style. She has a way of making basic items look completely chic and easy to emulate. Not only do I find her style amazing but her supreme eye for detail is very inspiring. I am a huge fan of her style plus I love how she's always rocking shades. Style Icon for sure.





Winter Kate

This is actually a dress from Winter Kate's previous collection but I just die looking at the beauty of it. It's whimsical it's flowy its just sheer perfection. I think anybody can pull this dress because it covers just about any spots you're uncomfortable about. For myself it's usually my abdomen section and arms. Since I'm such a fan of Miss Nicole Richie I can't just stop raving about her House of Harlow line of Jewelry and Sunglasses. The zig zag bracelets give it more edge and the sunglasses give it a huge Jackie O classic feel. The H&M hat is just perfect for fall I'm slightly obsessed with it. Essie nail polish in a light pink give your nails a very delicate approach to such a chic outfit. I personally believe every woman should own Clinque "Black Honey" it's a universal sheer plum that looks beautiful on every skin type. I will say this is a very updated "Holly Golightly" outfit. I will would defiantly rock it in front of a Tiffany's with a Soy Hot Chocolate in hand.

Speak now..

Forget summer love. There must be something in the coolness of this soon to be fall air that’s driving everyone absolutely bat shit crazy. It’s like everywhere I turn its either weddings, engagements, relationships or babies. All I have to say is ….GROSS. Perhaps I am just not in the mood for love but everywhere I go it just keeps following me. While I am overjoyed by everyone’s happiness I guess I just feel suffocated by all these public displays of affection. With my cousin’s wedding coming up, my niece bound to pop, my friends in their serious relationships and let us not forget the liberal media with their songs, movies, I’m exhausted.

Call me a hater, I’ve been called worse. Honestly I am just tired of life right now. Just with work, people, family I honestly want a good couple months to just regroup and shake shit out of my system. Maybe I’ll have a better understanding of “Love” after I come back from my year hiatus. It’s just that at this state I am in; love has done me wrong in every aspect I can think of and just to be surrounded by it I just can’t even begin to function. I know I’ve heard time again “You’ll know when you know” or “It’ll happen” but what if I don’t want it to happen? What if I have exhausted all aspects of love that I am done with it? I do have love in my life. Towards my family, friends, and life but to find love for one person I just can’t seem to grasp how that actually happens. Maybe it’s just seeing how everyone changes who they are to be in love or even how I myself had done the same it just makes me sick. I am not better than love but sometimes in my mind frame I am.

There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ve taken a different life path then most of my peers. While everyone went to school, found careers, got married, had kids, or even just one of those things, I didn’t. It started out that way. Work, school, work, school, I just wasn’t feeling it. I have such an anxiety when it comes to school environments so any chance I could take that away I did. So instead I joined my two best friends at the time just doing what we loved and after that was over, here I am just trying to make a career out of memories. I do not in any way shape or form regret my decision. If anything; if it wasn’t for those days it wouldn’t have brought me to the people I am associated with now. Wouldn’t have allowed myself to know what true friendship is about and I wouldn’t have come up stronger in the end. Yet there are days I wonder to myself if I had made the “right” choice, I know deep down that this is my destiny to go through this entire struggle to come up victorious but sometimes I wonder how differently my life would have been. Would I be married and miserable, would I even still be on this earth? Everything happens for a reason. I see so many of my peers still searching for something, wishing they had done differently and I know I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished. It’s still weird though. Who knows.

With Love, I don’t know it’s weird. I will say I was burned. I barely had a chance to enjoy it before it was taken away. All this bitterness I feel and with everything I’ve written about it I am just over it. I see how people deal with it and it drives me to have this fear. I am not ready for any of it to happen to me any time soon. I’ve had attempts and the more I repress it the more I just wonder if I keep pushing it away how will I know it’s going to come back to me in the end. There so much still left to do before I enter my 30’s and none of it involves having relationship. None of it involves falling in love. I don’t want to date anybody; I don’t want to be bothered. I just can’t bare hurting someone’s feelings like mine had been done before. Is it wrong to just want to kiss someone and then bid them good day. Just no feelings attached to it? The love that I want I don’t feel it even exists, it’s not real. Maybe somewhere after everything in my life works I’ll understand it better but I just don’t care. I tried, I failed miserably and now it’s just picking up the pieces and moving on. That’s what love is right? Love is nothing but moving on until you find something you’re happy with. I’m just tired of being force feed all these ideas of being in love and wanting to be in love when I don’t even want to be in love. If you want me to feel differently you’re going to have to ask nicer than that.

Whatever.

As I sit changing appointment times for bridesmaid dresses fittings, going over days off for weddings, baby showers, and think to myself that could have been me. Thank god it isn’t.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I heart H&M

If you know anything about me, you know about my obsession with H&M. I literally cannot walk out of the store without spending some ridiculous amounts of money in that place.

This season I am very much impressed with colors, style, and even a throwback to varsity jackets. Since I'm trying to venture out of my comfort zone defiantly this fall going to try and wear more skirts with wool tights. This skirt is perfect, no need for a belt because of the black colored band so it will be perfect for shirt tucks and untucks. Instead of the usual flats I opted for these oxford inspired shoes, it could also go with a good calf length boot but for a more "school" vibe I loved the oxfords. They are defiantly becoming my favorite shoe. Stripes are very fitting to give more of a classic edge. The biggest statement piece of this outfit has to be the varsity jacket. Perfect. Don't forget the big stoned ring and some red colored nails and you're good to go. H&M Perfection.

Feel free to head to your local H&M for all the essentials, because you know I am.

H&M

H&M by ellelopez featuring a flare skirt

In my head, it's only in my head..

It's hard to explain anxiety to someone who has never experienced it. It's one of the most nerve wrecking things an individual will ever have to go through on their own. It's not something you can turn on and off, it hits you out of no where when you least expect it and it takes what feels like a lifetime to get over. Of course I would know. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for what seems like an eternity. Even more so lately with everything going on in my personal and work environment I honestly wish I could just turn everything off and lie in complete silence.

Sometimes that's what we all need. Just a couple hours of complete silence. Complete disconnect of the world just to relax and regroup ourselves. I wish that everyone else thought that way. That it was just that easy. Its this anger inside of us that doesn't allow it to happen sometimes. We are so angry about everything superficial we forget to appreciate how much we truly do enjoy life. I am a happy person but because of so many different outside influences it's hard to truly appreciate everything I have in front of me. I see the beauty, I see the joy but it's so clouded by my own thoughts that I have a hard time finding what I love.

Maybe that's where all the writing comes into play. I write because it's the only thing that can group all my sentiments into words I can explain to people. Even if it comes out the wrong way outloud at least in the written form I release everything I have inside of me. Lately my anxiety hasn't been getting the best of me. Running, walking, singing, shouting and even this I'm doing makes everything so small inside. The need to get out and enjoy life, keep this fire inside of me and because of it is how much I know what I am doing is right.

I love my life, I love what I am doing to get there. I just can't wait til I can do everything fulltime instead of when I can find the energy to do it.

Soon.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

MARC by Marc Jacobs.

Haven't really been keeping up with Marc by Marc Jacobs but I have found myself in love with the following items. I swear my bank account is non existent for good accessories.



Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

A lot can be said about the Olsen twins. Style icons, fashion inspirations, business savvy. They have brought so much of their own personal inspirations into their fashion empire and the world has noticed. Their personal style has been mimicked, duplicated and adored by fashionistas and fashion icons a like.






Is it fall yet?

Summer is coming to an end and with that we can truly shine with our wardrobe. Nothing more beautiful about fall then the layers of clothes we use to express ourselves.

Everybody needs a good lace dress this season. A good black cardigan. Wool tights. Good pair of black boots. Nothing completes a look then a good pair of accessories. Definitely feeling the all black look with gold accessories. Including the festival necklace by madewell. beautiful.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Inspiration strikes in the most unusal places..

Lately a lot of my dreams have become really crazy. Maybe it's the mood I've been feeling or maybe it's just everything I am keeping inside that's causing things to get a little more crazier then it actually is. It's crazy how just simple ideas can manifest themselves into crazy choices or even crazy ways of changes. I guess thats what we are all striving for. New ideas, different changes. Something new to change the demons directions inside.

Things are moving swimmingly. Then things find themselves stalling. That's life. Just everything in constant motion to settle down to move at full speed ahead. There's this energy inside of me just anticipating the moment when everything just comes together. Everything falling into place. It's happening. It's moving. It's falling into place.

Just can't wait for that moment to happen. Everything in it's right place.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Current obsessions..

Photographs of hands with ordinary objects such as this gem I found on tumblr.


Ellie Goulding. Not necessarily her music (although "Lights" and "The Writer" are my jams) but her hair coloring in this picture is gorgeous.


The music of Patti Smith


Photographs taken by Hedi Slimane. His photographs are absolutely breathtaking.


Ryan Gosling.

It's been a long time coming but after seeing countless of Ryan Gosling's films I have formulated a minor crush on the dude. He's talented, beautiful, and a Scorpio. Not sure how that's going to work in our "relationship" but he's just fabulous.